Looking Back: Yes, it was torture. Yes, it was traumatic. Yes, it was difficult and yes I cried. A lot. My best friend was caffeine and after a long day the only thing my mind could handle was reruns of the Kardashians. I was exhausted by 11:30 every night. I was exhausted every morning at 6am. Oh, and guess what, I was exhausted in between too! I should have made more friends from the start because it was too lonely. I should have stuck to study/homework schedules and I should have used my agenda book more. I'm pretty sure I experienced two legit panic attacks while studying and most days my eyes were permanently swollen from too many tears. I discovered the power of repetition on a white board and the necessity of monster energy drinks. I was too tired most nights to shower and once cold weather required I wear long pants everyday, I gave up on shaving my legs. I became superstitious during tests, always having to chew the same gum, sit on the same side of the lecture hall, and use the same pencil. I wore a charm bracelet with charms of every religion, just to make sure all the bases were covered. I was willing to accept any help or guidance I could get.
Looking ahead: I need to start off on the right foot and then stay on that "right foot" for as long as I can. Study guides as you go will pay off in the end. Restock coffee supply often. Allow absolutely no chocolate or candy into the apartment because I will eventually devour everything in sight due to stress. That reminds me, look into becoming someone who loses weight while under stress... I'll have to call mom more often, and she will need to check in on me too! I should buy a plant. If it thrives, I know I'm not studying enough. If it dies, I'm doing well. Go to the rec center more. Find more funny people to hang around. Keep a cleaner room. Clear room, clear mind. Get a "fresher start" each morning. Have a more peaceful bedtime. Find a hobby. Take a weekend off to visit Maggie.
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