One is the Loneliest Number

I’ve just packed up my entire life {the most important parts of it} and moved to Ferris. No roommate, no friends, just two acquaintances I met while moving in. Some people are good on their own. They are independent and thrive in the solitude. Last Sunday my grandma said “I’m not one to ever get lonely.” I wish that part of her was passed on to me through genetics. I’m sure once the school year begins I’ll be too busy to realize I’m all by myself, and I’m sure there will be times when I’m actually happy to be all by myself, but now, sitting in a quiet apartment with all friends and family hours away I’m on the verge of tears. I want my mom sitting on the sofa beside me watching Funniest Home Videos. I want my best friend to be down the street within walking distance just in case. I don’t want to be all by myself. Of course it is the most depressing time of the week {Sunday + nighttime} that I sit here feeling sorry for myself! I told myself I was going to go for a walk after dinner, but here I sit. Too lonely to move. There are clothes that can be put away, boxes that need to be emptied, messes that need to be cleaned, but I’m secretly hoping my mom will be here tomorrow to make all of it disappear. Hell, maybe this post should be about how much I miss and love my mom! I just want her company, to know that she is here, to be able to hug her whenever I want. I wish I was at least tired. I dread having to fall asleep. I don’t want to spend my first night here alone. I don’t ever want to spend my nights here alone! I’m too depressed to make this post make sense. I want my mommmyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!