Update:

So I've calmed down.
I'm taking it one day at a time.
I've realized this will be THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life, so I'm going to "deal with it."
I've come to accept that the 3rd floor of the library will be my home for the next couple years.
I'm not looking to get A's, I'm just looking to pass and of course LEARN/UNDERSTAND the material.
God does not give me things I can not handle.
I will be tested, I will be broken down and rebuilt, I will struggle, but I will get through.
I will look back at this and laugh! Maybe not someday soon, but eventually.
I'll be just fine...

I Wanna Go Home!!!

I just want to go home! I want to pretend this isnt happening, that "the ball isnt already rolling", and that I can still yell "STOP!" I'm not ready for pharmacy school, I'm not ready for anything. I don't see myself being a pharmacist, but then again I don't see myself being anything. I just want to go home! I don't want to be here. I don't want to be crying. I don't want to be so depressed and alone with all my thoughts. This is too much for me. I'm not prepared for this. I'm not smart enough, I haven't learned enough, I'm not emotionally strong enough, I can't do this! I want to go home! I want to go back to being at Mott; taking two classes at a time and being able to sail my way through them. Hell I want to go back to high school when I was worry-less. I want to go home! I want to be able to come back home from school and be with my mom and little brother at night. I want my mom! I want to be with my friends at Saint Marys. I want something familiar! I want someone to cry to for hours; who will make all my problems go away. I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home! I WANT TO GO HOME!